Wednesday, September 1, 2010

RIP.

most of my posts these days are photoshoots, or sf favorites, or shopping links. today, friends? you are in for a treat. you are about to hear the horrifying story of my sunday morning.

in a sad development, chuck + blair {my pet frogs} died. not to get into too many details, but i'm assuming murder-suicide, a la romeo + juliet. i spent some time contemplating how to deal with this. i could just flush them, but fishing out the bodies seemed disgusting and not something i was looking to do. i decided that i would just get rid of the whole aquarium, because why exactly would i need gravel/plants remaining with no frogs? i was also squeamish about dumping the dead frog water in our kitchen sink, so i just picked up the full aquarium, placed in a macy's bag, and planned to drop them in our dumpster on my way out to coffee.

IMPORTANT NOTE: at this point, i was fully showered, dressed, and blow-dried.

i headed out my back staircase in my cute dress, purse in one hand, macy's bag o' dead frogs in the other. around the 3rd floor, i felt the bag shifting...water was leaking out. oh well, thinks stupid kelly, i am almost there! at floor 2...disaster.

the aquarium breaks through the bag, hits the stairs, shatters. DEAD FROGS, algae water, and gravel...EVERYWHERE. all over me, all over the stairs.

after standing in disbelief and horror, maybe weeping for 5 mins or so, i have trudge upstairs to a) contemplate burning my dress, b) get a broom to sweep up frog limbs and gravel, and c) freak out.

i will spare you the disgusting details, but near the end of the cleaning process, my broom handle hit my neighbor's hanging plant thing (like this), showering my wet self with sod/dirt. truly the icing on the cake.

may you RIP, chuck + blair.

3 comments:

missysoupy said...

Oh my gosh, Kelly, that is HILARIOUS! Ok, probably not to you, but that had me cracking up. So who is going to play *you* in the movie of your life? Can't wait to see this scene!

the mvp said...

utter ridiculousness

Christine said...

Oh, NO! This reminds me of when our 2 firebelly toads died. Overnight infestation of ants attacked the toads. My daughter and I were burying the toads when we realized one of them was still alive! Despite our best efforts, he still died and we ended up burying him with his friend :-(